How Not to Cope with Social Distancing
Last week I shared with you some ideas for finding joy in social distancing. Truly, there are so many things we can do to see the good, and while I always try to stay positive here, I also aim to keep it real. I don’t filter my life to make it appear better than it is because that’s not what you need, and frankly not what I need either. I wish I could tell you that I have only followed all of the ways to find joy, but let me tell you, I have certainly had moments where all I found was anger and bitterness. Feet stomping and screaming? Heck yeah! As I write this, it’s Sunday. I’ve had only one week of being at home with the kids and I anticipate many many more, so it’s time to get myself on a new normal schedule, take control of my healthy eating and habits again…But today, today I am going to share with you all of the things I did this past week that didn’t work. I have spoken to so many friends who have shared similar moments and I just wanted to encourage you today and tell you that you are not alone. We are human, and we have never ever dealt with anything like this virus in our entire lives. Navigating new waters while having to keep our distance from friends, colleagues, family… it’s freaking hard! It’s OK to disrupt healthy habits for a little bit as long as the disruption doesn’t become the new habit. Starting this week, I am committing to moving forward in a healthier direction. Last week I just needed time to sulk, scream, pout, and sit with my frustration and anger. I am guessing you did, too. Maybe you didn’t, and more power to you! Learn from my mistakes… here’s how not to cope with social distancing. I hope this makes you laugh a little today. 😉
Yell at Your Kids, Spouse, Pet (anyone who is stuck at home with you)
Yell at anyone who is around. Do they deserve it? Maybe. Who cares right now. You’ve got feelings that need to be unleashed and it feels insanely good to let them out. Get creative in your yelling. Now is a time to really have fun with it. Just last week I tried to yell at Emmy to go to her room, but I had to think outside the box. “Go to your… I don’t even know where! Just go!” It got the point across.
Wine, beer, liquor. Choose your own adventure. Surviving your first day, week, hour of social distancing deserves celebration! Heck, getting dressed in something other than pajamas deserves a celebration! Cheers to you. Alcohol might make your wrinkles appear deeper, but who cares? No one is going to see you.
Eat All the Things
You’re prepared. You made the trips to Costco and the grocery store, and your pantry is stocked for the Armageddon. Why wait? Enjoy it now. Bonus points for using the ingredients and baking something new every day. That way you can mask your gluttony under the guise of “being creative in the kitchen.” We baked two kinds of cookies and a batch of muffins last week, not to mention the pillsbury cinnamon rolls and biscuits. I only wish I was exaggerating for the sake of writing this post.
Hide in the Bathroom
Got kids at home? There is nowhere to hide from the noise, chaos, mess. Might I suggest a quiet sanctuary in the bathroom? Several times last week I asked the older kids to watch their little brother so I could “go to the bathroom” which was code for sit in silence with no one needing a darn thing from me. By now my kids probably think I am having some serious stomach issues. Given all of the food and alcohol, it’s not a far fetched thought.
Bite Your Nails
No need to worry about missing your monthly manicure when you’ve chewed your fingernails down to a nub. Added bonus, the more you bite your nails, the less your mouth will be occupied by things like eating anything in site, or yelling. Replace those unhealthy habits with other unhealthy habits.
When you live in an area where neighbors are close by, passive aggressiveness is a great option for just spewing some rage into the world. This tactic is one of my personal favorites. Chris asks me what is the matter, and I like to reply with a seething stare. Does it need to be said that life is hard and I am struggling and feeling like a failure of a mother? Nope. It doesn’t. Holding that anger inside and letting it out in a huff through your nose while shooting daggers from your eyes is a great way to communicate, especially with your spouse. It keeps them guessing, and that helps keep the relationship interesting.
DGAF About Screen Time
Your kids want to watch every episode of all 7 seasons of that show today? Does it mean they will be leaving you alone? If the answer to that second question is yes, then by all means let them. I see all you other parens out there homeschooling your kids and taking them on nature walks, doing creative art and science projects. Slow clap from me to you.
Well, friends, I hope you enjoyed a little bit of sarcasm and humor in this post. Please know that while there is truth and reality in this post, I most definitely exaggerated for the sake of fun. I only let me kids watch 2 seasons of a show in a day.