Cassie Bustamante

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Life Updates: Thoughts on Spending Less, Weight Loss, and Jealousy

May 5, 2017 by Cassie 44 Comments

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Good Friday morning and a big hello to May this week!  Back in March I opened up about a lot of what was going on in my life regarding miscarriages and thoughts about my own future.  You guys were so supportive in sharing your stories as well as tips on what worked for you.  It’s been a little over a month since then, I’ve been busy traveling, volunteering at the school play (where Emmy will be making her Tweedle Dee appearance this weekend) as well as working on the One Room Challenge, and I wanted to share some life updates with you.  This post will be a little mish-mosh of my thoughts, but some of you have asked so I thought I’d continue the conversation.

Dandelion Cassie Bustamante

Spending Less Update: Back in January I made a public declaration of spending less, and I haven’t kept you much informed on that front.  For someone who did just last year buy pillows just for the season, or because they were on sale, it was a big bold statement.  Saturday Morning when I was reading Emily’s Saturday 6, I came across a great post she shared about a woman who took a whole year off shopping from clothing and accessories.  That post really hit me, especially these words:

“Today I would never buy a $10 sale top to wear only once, nor would I buy a pillow or spoon to use for one Instagram photo. I really have learned the importance of only buying what you love, and treating it like an investment. Not only is it better for your budget, but it’s better for the environment.”

How many times have you wandered into a store and purchased something because it was on sale, or just to use temporarily.  This year as I have focused on not spending, I’ve been questioning myself so much more when it comes to pulling the trigger, and I’ve found I ask myself every time, “Do we really need this?”  If the answer is yes, I allow it.  This past weekend I had to purchase new string lights for our porch, and it took me forever to decide to buy them!  I hated spending money on something that I felt might be seen as more frivolous.  However, in thinking of how our family actually lives in our space, I knew they were a need. As the weather is getting warmer though, I know my family will be eating dinner on the porch, and without the lights, we won’t be able to see what we’re eating.

When it comes to clothing, I purchased a new pair of running shoes after mine got a hole in the toe (which always happens to me!).  For running shoes, I’ve found a style and brand I like, and I order from Amazon when I see the lowest price I’ve seen in a while. I have not spent over $50 on a pair over the last year.  Secondly, I decided I needed one more pair of casual Converse sneakers.  I have a gray pair I purchased years ago, and I wear them all the time.  I’ve found myself wearing them all the time, and decided another pair would be a good investment that would last me several years.  My mother and I headed to Lancaster, PA a few weeks ago for a mother/daughter trip that was her birthday/Mother’s Day gift rolled into one.  We headed to the outlets there and lo and behold, there was a Converse outlet and the shoes were buy one get one 75% off!!!  Basically, the second pair was $10-15.  I decided to get a pair of red, and a pair of mint.  And now I am set for a long time!  Between the running shoes and converse, I’ve not purchased any other item of clothing or accessory for myself in 2017.

My strategy has been pretty much to avoid malls and shopping situations, turn off notifications in facebook shopping groups, and remove myself from most email lists.  It’s worked well, and the times I have been with a friend at a store, I’ve reminded myself that I was not shopping to buy, rather I was window-shopping to spend time with that person.

At this moment, I am also working on the 10 pounds I gained over the last emotionally and hormonally roller coaster of a year.  I have 5 to go, and that makes my wardrobe feel like new to me again…. knowing that my clothes will once again look as I want them to helps prevent me from shopping.  When I can open my own closet door and feel good about most items in there, it’s a great feeling. I am getting there!  My point is that feeling healthy and happy with myself tends to prevent the need or desire to shop for clothing… remember, clothes don’t make the woman.  I do not need new clothing; I just need to feel good in my own skin.

Weight Update: Since I mentioned it, I thought I’d share what’s been working for me when it comes to weight loss.  It’s been slow and steady for me but typically that process makes it easier to keep off.  I’ve cut out all alcohol aside from the occasional glass of wine, and I’m eating a primarily plant based diet with eggs and seafood for protein, with the occasional chicken mixed in.  I do allow myself 1-2 treats a week.  For two weeks though I went really strong with no sweets, just to kick start, and that helped after not losing anything much the first couple of weeks.  Another huge boost in losing was, as cliche as it sounds, drinking loads of water.  I use a 30 oz tumbler like this and fill it up three times a day,  I love it because on cooler days I fill it with hot water and lemon juice and it keeps it hot.  Admittedly, I don’t always make it all the way through the third refill, but knowing I’ve gotten over 60 oz is good for me!  Mine is plain stainless and was a Christmas gift from a white elephant exchange, but I really wish it was this lovely aqua one…

I am currently exercising 5-6 days a week which includes two to three 4 mile walks, two 4-5 mile runs, and two days where I run 1.5 miles, do three rounds of the 7 minute workout, then walk 1.5 miles.  I use this app for the 7 minute workout which is free and had great ratings.  It offers a couple variations, and I love it!  If you’re wondering what the heck this workout is, it includes 12 exercises you do for 30 seconds each with 10 seconds of rest in between. If you aren’t sure of a move, there is an icon that has video tutorials to help guide you.

7 minute workout

Hey Jealousy: Now I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind, and clearly on the mind of other bloggers as well.  Over time, I have developed a healthy attitude when it comes to comparison, jealousy, and envy, but when images of things we don’t have… beautiful clean and clutter free homes, gorgeous huge yards, swimming pools, designer furnishings…. are presented to us on a daily basis via social media, sometimes it’s  hard to turn off your wanter.  Seeing those images can have negative effects on our own self-worth.  I honestly try not to think about it as much, and realize that inspiration comes from those very images.  Last week, however, I was looking at a home tour on one of the design sites I enjoy, when Sawyer peered over my shoulder and opened up a conversation.

“Mom, do you ever get jealous?”

“What do you mean?  With these home tours?  Jealous of their pretty home and the things they have?”

He nodded, that indeed, that was what he meant.

“Well, of course I sometimes get jealous. It’s only natural to see something beautiful and react to it, and feel like I might want it, too.  However, when I turn away from the tour and take a look around at everything I do have… our beautiful home, my happy kids and marriage, and the great life we have, even if it’s imperfect and messy sometimes, I realize that I have everything I could ever want right here.  I have nothing to be jealous of because I have enough.”  Of course, I knew that his question must have been prompted by his own feelings of jealousy over something, so I asked him, “Do you feel jealous of anything right now?”

He replied, “Well, all the kids have those fidget spinners, and I don’t have one. I really want one.”

I had just come home from play practice that evening after school where one child in particular had one and was driving me absolutely bonkers with it.  I was cursing its creator!  I said to Sawyer, “It’s my understanding that those are made for kids who really need them.”  He interrupted to let me know he knew that they were intended to help kids with ADD or ADHD.  I told him, “Instead of feeling like you want what they have, think about how lucky you are to not need it.  You don’t have ADHD, and you are fortunate in that, because it makes school a little more of a challenge. Instead of being jealous of the kids with fidget spinners, be understanding and be happy with who you are.”  He thanked me, hugged me, and ran off happily.  True story.  I am no Mother of the Year by a long shot, and I yell at my kids and say things I shouldn’t, but in this one shining moment, I recognized a teaching opportunity and it worked.  If he continues to replace feelings of jealousy with feelings of gratitude for what he does have, he’ll be a much happier human being; and as a mother, all I want is for my kids to be happy and kind.

We all suffer from these feelings sometimes, and they don’t feel good.  Jealousy over a long period of time can lead to a bitterness that’s hard to shake.  This moment with Sawyer was a great reminder of looking within ourselves and at all we truly have to find contentment.

That’s all I have for you today.  I just wanted to take a chance to really talk to you, and to thank you for listening, replying, and sharing your stories with me.  Now if you need me, I’ll be putting stage make-up on a bunch of elementary school kids turned Wonderland characters, enjoying the play tonight, and tomorrow night, playing the role of the backstage mom; it’s a bit of a stressful role because all of the character’s timing relies on me, but it guarantees me great seats for the night I view.  So worth it!  And Emmy has a big part for a 4th grader, and sings a song, so I really wanted to be able to have a great view of my star. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you have a fantastic weekend!

*This post contains a couple affiliate links to products I love!

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Comments

  1. Emily Clark says

    May 5, 2017 at 7:26 am

    This was a good read. Nice catching up with you ๐Ÿ™‚ Sawyer sounds like a very insightful boy. I, too, have been challenged by that spending less post. (Of course, I’ve had my moments of weakness. Ha!) Definitely a challenge when it’s coming at you from all angles. I could live in yoga pants and a few dresses for Sundays and yet, I see things I “need” all the time. Ugh.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      i think we all have moments of weakness, and there are certainly days where i feel a little bitter with want… but i try to remind myself i can change how i feel. ๐Ÿ™‚ easier said than done sometimes!

      Reply
  2. karin chudy says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:09 am

    From the first time I read your blog (wayyyy back ;)) I have loved your openness!
    Your kindness and open heart always show through and that is a pretty awesome thing to have!
    BTW…While others are admiring your shoes..you know I am admiring that kick ass clean grout using a magic eraser! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Hugs,
    Karin

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      thank you so much, karin! i really appreciate that! and the grout could use a touch up at the moment… a couple of rainy weeks will do that!

      Reply
  3. Anna-Ruth Taynton (ART) says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:10 am

    I love your heart and spirit! The world is a better place with you and your family in it!!!!Thanks for that.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:57 pm

      thank you so much, for that! right back at you!

      Reply
  4. Brynne | The Gathered Home says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:28 am

    First of all, love those mint Converse!

    I’m so glad this time without spending is going so well for you! I know I’ll need one of those soon – it just seems like with settling into a new house and trying to get spaces “finished” I’m doing nothing but spending! But even with thrifting, I’m taking a big step back and trying to be very careful with what I bring home… so, baby steps!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      i love my converse, too! and thank you so much, brynne!

      Reply
  5. Emy says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:31 am

    Spinners will be the death of me. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Ironically, my daughter has to produce a product for economics to “sell” and she chose spinners. That girl has an entrepreneur heart.
    Jealousy sucks. It’s helpful to compare yourself to you. Our neighbor was able to finish his house so much faster than us and it felt sucky. But we’ve come a long way. And we love the process. Nobody walks into our home and wonders if it’s a flip house. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Have a great weekend!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:55 pm

      i am sure spinners are just a tool of the devil. ๐Ÿ˜‰ and i love that way of thinking- i do that when i am doing something more athletic, but not in terms of my house.

      Reply
  6. Linda Braden says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:56 am

    Thanks for the reminder about that 7-minute workout routine! My daughter and I would do it together a few years ago and I completely forgot how much we liked it! Just downloaded the app. Oh, and the picture of Sawyer is the best!!! Something to share with his future spouse! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      awesome- i hope you enjoy it!!!

      Reply
  7. Kelly @ View Along the Wayalo says

    May 5, 2017 at 9:26 am

    I love all this. Glad you’re doing well! Love you!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      thank you, my friend! love you right back!

      Reply
  8. heather says

    May 5, 2017 at 9:36 am

    Great post Cassie. Funny…we actually got a letter home from school banning those fidget spinners. Apparently, they’ve been more of a detriment than a help in our school, ADHD or none. Hope the play goes well. I love elementary school plays. We begged our oldest to be in his, but he turned us down flat. Hope you guys have a great weekend!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      i am actually quite certain they are a tool of the devil. and thank you- the play was awesome!

      Reply
  9. [email protected] says

    May 5, 2017 at 10:07 am

    I love catch-up posts! Glad the no spending is working well! I’ve been trying to buckle down on that and working out as well. I’ve been running 3 days a week with Mara and the jogging stroller but I don’t usually make it more than a mile because that thing is so heavy to push! My arms give out before my legs even get tired haha

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      oh i remember pushing sawyer and emmy in mine along the B&A trail, which is all flat, and it was killer for me and i would go so slow!! i hear you!!!

      Reply
  10. Jessica | Petal + Ply says

    May 5, 2017 at 10:17 am

    ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for being so candid Cassie. Sounds like you are doing a great job sticking to your goals. You can really see how being mindful and purposeful with your spending has opened the door for gratitude in all areas of your life.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      for the most part, but man sometimes i still have those days where i want everything i don’t have! we all do sometimes, right?

      Reply
  11. [email protected] says

    May 5, 2017 at 10:19 am

    Loved reading this. I do have to say that I have been very bad with shopping lately when it comes to clothing. Home stuff I have been ok and try to avoid certain stores. And I’m downloading that app now.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      i was bad all last week and need to get back on track… the play just kept me so busy this weekend that it was hard to eat right.

      Reply
  12. [email protected] BoxyColonial says

    May 5, 2017 at 10:42 am

    Dave and I were doing that 7 minute workout for awhile, and then we….stopped. but we should again! we had an app that Ari told me about that yelled at us and insulted us while we were doing it. maybe I should get a different one this time…..

    Break a leg, Emmy!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:48 pm

      bahaha! that is kind of funny! mine doesn’t yell at all but gives you an automated… “nice” or “good job” with no feeling.

      Reply
  13. Carol @ CAD INTERIORS says

    May 5, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    This was the BEST post I have read in a long while! You hit a lot of “hot topics” that I think about often, and I love your thinking and approach about it all. xoxo

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:47 pm

      aaaaw, thank you so much, carol! i appreciate that!

      Reply
  14. Kelly Elko says

    May 5, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    They say less clutter leads to weight loss. Maybe I need someone to haul away all my excess and the lbs will disappear overnight!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:46 pm

      oooh maybe that’s what i need to do!

      Reply
  15. Shelley | Crazy Wonderful says

    May 5, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    Loved everything in this post!!! And those damn fidget spinners are driving me insane. Izzy has been told she will not be getting one. Fidget spinners today, expensive clothes and cars later. It’s always something! I think you explained jealousy perfectly to Sawyer. He’s a lucky boy to have you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:45 pm

      they really are the worst!!!! and yes, it is always something. thank you so much for your comment. ๐Ÿ™‚ and thank you for not indulging izzy in a fidget spinner… i am sure her teacher thanks you, too.

      Reply
  16. Ellen Shook says

    May 5, 2017 at 9:28 pm

    What a wonderful insightful post. One of the reasons I finally retired my blog was that jealousy thing. I had gotten over it myself, and posted quite a few times about how ridiculous it was to run out and buy new stuff all the time just to have something to blog about. Having reached a “certain age” I realize that there is only so much “stuff” one needs and can actually use. I have always thought you are wise beyond your years, and I do enjoy your contemplative commentary.

    Tell Emmy “Break a leg!”

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:43 pm

      thank you for that so much, ellen!!! and emmy was awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  17. Lisa says

    May 7, 2017 at 11:37 am

    I love Sawyer’s deep thoughts and your conversation with him!! Love love love how you keep it real on your blog too. The struggle is real for all of us to want to live simply and genuinely and with intention, and then also want new pillows and cute things ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      thank you so much, lisa! and yes you said it!

      Reply
  18. Sage says

    May 7, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    1) I always get holes in the toes of my running shoes too, and 2) I really appreciated your post where you shared about your miscarriages. It’s something that so many people experience, and yet we talk about it so little. Thank you, and I hope you’re doing well!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      i am glad i am not alone on the holes… it drives me batty! my socks, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  19. Pamela says

    May 8, 2017 at 10:25 am

    Thanks for sharing this. I love your blog. Thanks for sharing the 7 minute workout. I have downloaded it and will try it out. I like to run as well and I am always looking for a great pair of running shoes.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 8, 2017 at 2:35 pm

      thank you so much, pamela! i hope you like the workout!

      Reply
  20. Kim says

    May 8, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    I love the story of your conversation with Sawyer – sometimes as a parent, it’s easy for me to want to provide Henry with everything he could ever want. Bleh. Who could keep up with that? But I love how you turned that conversation around to gratitude. And what a wonderful reminder to all the adults in the room (ahem – me) who also need to remember that.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 12, 2017 at 3:10 pm

      thank you, kim! i do, too!

      Reply
  21. Jamala says

    May 16, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    I totally related you this post.. especially about the no spending . After my my husband’s business was hit with a loss I realized how I frivolous spending can hurt a budget.. I learned to make wiser spending choices and it makes a difference.. thanks for being candid.

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 19, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      i am so glad it resonated with you, jamala! i hope your husband’s business is recovering!

      Reply
  22. Haley says

    May 23, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    Love your thoughts on jealousy and gratitude!

    Reply
    • Cassie says

      May 30, 2017 at 7:38 am

      thank you, haley! it’s a tough think to admit, but we all feel it sometimes!

      Reply

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Hi, I’m Cassie!

I believe that you don't have to spend a lot of money to live a beautiful life and be your best self.ย  Here you will find budget friendly ideas to live happily, healthily, sustainably, and most importantly authentically.ย  We all get one chance at this life,ย and this ordinary girl plans to make hers extraordinary. How about you? Read more...
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Hi! I'm Cassie.

Mother, wife, shop owner, blogger, writer, incurable diy-er, furniture painter, coffee and wine drinker, friend. Seeking happiness and passing it on. Read Moreโ€ฆ

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