This post is completely off subject for me, but last night I had a meeting at my church for VBS volunteers (I am helping out at VBS this summer) about sexual abuse of children. We watched 2 videos, and I just was so bothered by them. Did you know that 1 in 8 boys and 1 in 4 will be sexually abused by the time they reach 18? As a mom, this fact breaks my heart. The video we watched showed actual children who had been victims talking about what had happened to them; most perpetrators were friends from church, babysitters, and family friends. Two actual perpetrators talked as well about how they used to get to the children they molested. I found myself in tears watching this video, my heart breaking for the children who had been harmed, and for the parents who felt such horrible guilt that they had “let” their child be abused. As a parent or anyone working with children, there are warning signs to look for, and steps you can take to stop and prevent it from happening.
I am no expert in this matter, but I found this link.
I am fortunate that I was never harmed as a child in any way physically by anyone I knew. However, when I was 19 years old, I was raped, and by someone I knew. I was a virgin at the time, as I had planned on “waiting til marriage”, so in a way, much of my innocence was taken from me. I was in college at the time, so not at home, but when I did go home, my mom, who knows me so well, recognized my signs. I was so angry and I was taking it out on my family. No longer the happy girl I had been, I was sullen, and anti-social. I stopped eating, and lost about 25 pounds. One day she just said, “I don’t get it. Why are you so angry all the time.” We were standing in the kitchen and I will never forget this moment- it is still so clear to me as the day it happened. It was like a light went on and my mom gasped, “Oh my God, Cassie, were you raped?” I just burst into tears, unable to answer her. But that was answer enough. I never went to therapy or anything like that, and I never pressed any charges because I blamed myself. It took time for wounds to heal, and what got me through it was the love and support of my family. I also met my husband a couple years later, and right from the start he loved me unconditionally, no matter who I was or who I had been in that dark point in my life. I share this story with people now, because I am not ashamed or embarrassed, and I hope that no one ever has to go through what I went through, though statistically I know that is impossible. My hope is that this experience has made me stronger, and will make me more aware of signs of distress in my own children. I felt so alone, and I just couldn’t get out of my dark place by myself. I don’t ever want my children to feel like that.
I know this post has been extremely personal and totally off subject, but last night’s meeting got me to thinking about it. I knew that if there were people out there reading this, they would start to be more aware of signs in heir own children and children they know.
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Mother, wife, shop owner, blogger, writer, incurable diy-er, furniture painter, coffee and wine drinker, friend. Seeking happiness and passing it on. Read More…
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